Pranks a Lot
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on...'Pranks a Lot'. I own nothing.


Pinkie and Derpy walk up to this new store that Pinkie is showing her.

Pinkie: Well, Derpy, here it is; The Palace of Pranks. The greatest novelty shop in Ponyville. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag peanut brittle can!

Derpy: Oh, boy, peanut brittle! Gimme!

She takes the gag jar and tries to open it.

Pinkie: Derpy, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?

Derpy: Nice try, Pinkie, but it's not gonna work this time! I'm gonna have some of your delicious peanut brittle!

Rubber snakes pop out of the can.

Derpy: Where's the peanut brittle?

Pinkie: Hahahahahahaha! That gets funnier every time you say it, Derps. Come on, let's go inside.

Derpy starts to cry.

Derpy: Peanut brittle?

Pinkie enters the store and smells the air.

Pinkie: Ah…nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! Isn't it everything I said it would be, Derpy?

Derpy: Hey, peanut brittle!

More rubber snakes pop up from the next aisle.

Derpy: Oh, darn it, not again!

Pinkie: Hahahahahahahaha!

Cranky Doodle Donkey: Good to see you, Pinkie. How's my number one customer/friend doing?

Pinkie: Oh, great, Cranky. This is my friend Derpy. She wants to become a prankster too.

Cranky: Well, pleasure to meet you, Derpy.

He shakes her hoof, but she gets shocked because he has a buzzer on.

Cranky: That's your first lesson, the granddaddy of all pranks; the joy buzzer.

Derpy: I don't get it.

Cranky: You don't have to get it! The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.

Pinkie: You see, Derpy, Cranky here was the master. Even though his name doesn't suggest it, I learned all I didn't already know about pranks from him. Okay, Cranky, let's see what you got!

Cranky: Well, this came in just this morning. Have some gum.

Derpy takes some gum from the package he offered her, but when she chews, her head explodes.

Cranky: Ha! Exploding chewing gum! Only 10 bits!

Derpy: (head is missing) I don't get it.

Pinkie: What can we get for one bit?

Cranky: Well, one bit will get you this fake gag bit. Fool your friends into thinking you've got a real bit.

Pinkie: What else have you got?

Cranky: A whoopie cushion?

Pinkie: Nah.

Cranky: Fake vomit.

Pinkie: No.

Cranky: Real vomit?

Pinkie: Ew. Don't you have anything good?

Cranky: Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top-of-the-line prankster. Invisible Spray!

Pinkie: Wow! Invisible Spray!

Derpy: But I can see it.

Pinkie: Gee, Derpy, just think of the pranks we could pull with this!

Pinkie hands him a bit, and the exchange is made.

Cranky: Good choice. Now, be careful with that stuff, girls. It stains fur.

Pinkie: Thanks, Cranky!

They head outside and to a field outside of Ponyville where they can play with the Invisible Spray.

Pinkie: Here it is, Derpy. The ultimate prank; Invisible Spray!

Derpy: What are we gonna do with it?

Pinkie: I know! I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when ponies walk by, we'll be floating in mid-air!

Pinkie visualizes the whole situation, where everypony is remarking about how they're sitting on air.

Derpy: That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, Pinkie! (wink)

Pinkie: Well, let's get started.

Derpy shaves off all her fur and even cuts off her mane.

Derpy: Okay, I'm ready.

Pinkie: Any particular reason you shaved your fur off?

Derpy: Well, that stuff stains fur, right?

Pinkie: That it does, Derpy, that it does! Good thinking. Here, hold this a second.

Derpy takes the can while Pinkie shaves off all her fur and mane.

Pinkie: Okay, Derpy, give me the can.

Derpy: I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.

Pinkie: Derpy, spraying the park bench was my idea.

Derpy: Yeah, but I said it was a good idea.

Pinkie: Gimme that thing!

They fight over the can of paint, and they spray the pile of their fur by accident.

Derpy: Hey, the invisible spray works!

A carriage drives by with numerous tourists inside.

Tour Guide: And on your right, if you look, you'll see two bald ponies fighting over a can of paint!

All the tourists laugh at them before the carriage speeds off.

Pinkie: Oh my gosh, Derpy, help me find our fur!

She scours the area for the invisible fur While she's doing so, Derpy sprays her front right hoof with the spray.

Derpy: I gotta _hoof _it to you, Pinkie, you look kinda funny.

She laughs at her own bad joke.

Pinkie: Righty! Where are you?! NOPONY MESSES WITH RIGHTY! We'll see how you like it!

She takes the can and sprays her wings.

Pinkie: Sorry, Derpy, I kind of _winged_ it there. Hehehe!

Derpy: Yeah!

She swipes the can and sprays one of Pinkie's eyes.

Derpy: I _see _what you mean! Hahahaha!

Pinkie takes the can and sprays a hole in her stomach.

Pinkie: No guts, no glory! Hahahahahaha!

**French Narrator: Several bad puns later…**

Pinkie and Derpy are completely invisible.

Derpy: Hey, I think this thing is empty!

Pinkie: Oh no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Derpy. You used the last of it!

Derpy: Hey, I think I found our fur.

The invisible fur blows away in the wind.

Derpy: Oops.

Pinkie: Oh, forget the fur, Derpy! Let's go home and wash this paint off.

They start to walk back to Ponyville.

Derpy: Hey Pinkie, do you know what time it is?

Pinkie: Oh, sure, it's…half past invisible!

Derpy: Gee, it's getting late.

They walk up to Carrot Top.

Pinkie: Let's ask her. Excuse me, ma'am, but do you have the time?

Carrot Top: Sure. It's, uh, ten to three.

Pinkie: Thank you.

Carrot Top: Don't mention it.

She turns around to notice nopony is there.

Derpy: Don't mention what?

Carrot Top: Uh, who said that?

Derpy: Me.

Carrot Top: GHOSTS!

She gallops away, and her eyes fall out. They continue to hop away from the ghosts.

Derpy: Hey, I'm no ghost! Well, the nerve of that girl and her hopping eyeballs.

Pinkie: Wait a second, Derpy. My brain just hatched an idea!

Derpy: Lay it on me.

Pinkie: Okay, we're invisible, right?

Derpy: Yeah.

Pinkie: If she thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everypony in Ponyville! Oh, it's the ultimate prank!

Derpy: Whoo! Hoof bump!

They give each other an invisible brohoof.

Pinkie: Let's go scare us some suckers.

Twilight is in her house, reading a book, when she hears a strange noise. She checks to see what it is, but nothing is there.

Twilight: Well, that's funny. I thought I heard voices…Huh? I thought I left that glass of water on the table…And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday?...And since when did I acquire all this fan art of Derpy?!

Pinkie and Derpy: Ooooooooooh…

She turns around to face her friends in ghost sheets.

Pinkie and Derpy: We're ghosts. Oooooooooh…

Twilight laughs at their pathetic attempt to scare her.

Twilight: I knew it was you girls! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets.

She takes them off and finds nothing under them.

Twilight: Impossible! It is ghosts! AAAAAAH!

She hightails it to her emergency rocket and presses a button that sends her back to Canterlot.

Pinkie: Haha, boy we really scared her!

Derpy: Who's gonna be our next victim?

Pinkie: A better question would be, who isn't?

Spike is in the kitchen, baking something up with lots of gems.

Spike: Double Dark Deep-Gem Light Ruby Cake! You will soon be mine.

The cake is eaten seemingly out of nowhere. Derpy's mouth appears, wipes some of it off her face, then spits all the gems at Spike.

Spike: Oh!

A bunch of fire ignites from him, and he is sent around the room like a rocket.

Spike: GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTS!

When he finally runs out of fire, he has charred the whole kitchen.

Over at Rarity's, she is sketching a design for a dress when the pencil suddenly floats in mid-air.

Rarity: Huh?

The pencil draws a mustache on her face.

Pinkie and Derpy: Oooooooooh…

Rarity: GHOSTS!

She runs straight through the wall of the boutique.

Rainbow Dash is flying leisurely, when a surfboard appears next to her. Derpy is carrying and Pinkie riding on top, but she can't see them.

Pinkie and Derpy: Cowabunga!

Rainbow Dash: Ghosts! Aaaaah!

She heads toward the ground in a nosedive to get away.

Lyra: Ghosts!

Cheerilee: Ghosts!

Trixie: Ghosts!

Sweetie Belle: Ghosts!

Snails: Toast.

Fluttershy: GHOSTS!

Later, Pinkie and Derpy are reading newspapers detailing their success.

Pinkie: It's official! We're the greatest pranksters ever! The whole town thinks we're ghosts!

Derpy is holding her newspaper upside-down.

Derpy: Yeah.

Pinkie: There's only one pony left to scare, and we'll have pranked everypony in Ponyville; Applejack.

They are both reading the article on Applejack that reads **'Applejack Last to be Haunted! Says, 'I ain't afraid of no ghosts!'**

Derpy: It says she isn't scared of ghosts.

Pinkie: We'll see about that!

Later that night, Applejack opens the blinds of her farmhouse and peers out into the darkness.

Applejack: Ghosts? Heh! Ah ain't afraid of no ghosts! Everypony knows a ghost won't come near her as long as she's wearin' her spotted neckerchief…And her dried-up apple fritter…And a bit of gold never hurt.

She shows off her necklace that reads 'Foxy'

Applejack: But tah be on tha' safe side, ah'm also wearin' pants…Got mah shiverin' timber brace…And the mane on the back of mah neck is taped down. And ah'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor. And if none of this stuff works, ah've got mah secret weapon; the Specter Deflector!

She takes out a paddleball.

Applejack: So just try and get me, ya' varmints! Bring it on!

The lights go off in the house.

Pinkie: Boooooh! Applejack!

Applejack: Wha…?

A few things in the house begin to float.

Pinkie: Applejack, we've come to haunt you!

She starts hitting her paddleball towards the ghosts, hoping to fend them off.

Applejack: Stay back! Ah'm well-armed!

Pinkie and Derpy: Ooooooooh…

Applejack: Ah'm warnin' y'all!

Pinkie and Derpy: Ooooooooh…

A pair of scissors cuts the string on Applejack's paddleball.

Applejack: (frightened) Ooh…

Pinkie and Derpy: Boo.

Applejack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Ah gotta get outta here!

She tries the door, but slams into it head-first.

Pinkie: You can't escape, Applejack. We've glued the door shut.

Applejack: You'll never get me!

She goes for the window, but it stretches, and it springs her back.

Derpy: Nice try, Applejack, but we replaced all the glass with rubber!

She even dives into the toilet, but there is a whole roll of toilet paper blocking the hole.

Pinkie: Too late, Applejack. We've already clogged all the toilets!

Applejack: Please, spirits, leave me be!

She cries and pleads with them to let her and her family go, but they don't listen.

Derpy: Hehe, we got her good, Pinkie.

Pinkie: Wait, Derpy, I've got one more idea. (to Applejack) You're going to pay, Applejack!

Applejack: No, spirits, please!

Pinkie: Pay! PAY!

She levitates her hat, then holds a match up to it.

Applejack: No! Don't burn mah hat!

She takes a bucket of water and throws it at the flames. Her hat is safe, and the paint also washes off, revealing two bald ponies.

Applejack: Well well well, if it ain't Pinkie and Derpy!

Pinkie: …I know not these names which you speak! Ooooooooh…

Derpy: Uhh, Pinkie?

Pinkie: Ooooooooh…

Derpy: Pinkie, we're visible again.

Pinkie: Ooh-

She notices what has happened.

Pinkie and Derpy: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Before they can run away, Applejack grabs them by the scruff of their necks.

Applejack: So, y'all two are the Ponyville Ghosts!

Pinkie: We're really sorry, Applejack! Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat them!

Applejack: Aw, come on, girls, ah'm hip! Ah pulled mah share of pranks when ah was a filly. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. C'mon, laugh with me! Hahahahahahhaha!

Pinkie and Derpy laugh uncomfortably with her.

Applejack: Uhh, any particular reason you girls are bald?

Pinkie: Yeah, the Invisible Paint stains fur.

Applejack: 'Course it does! Well, y'all better hurry home, before somepony sees ya' bald.

Pinkie: Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.

Derpy: Me, too.

Applejack: Whoo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting' late, now. Y'all two pranksters better get goin'.

Pinkie: Applejack, thanks for being such a good sport.

Applejack: Don't mention it.

They head back from Sweet Apple Acres and towards their respective houses.

Pinkie: That Applejack, always looking out for me. What a pony.

Derpy: Yeah.

Suddenly, multiple lights from Pegasus ponies above flood the Town Square and leave the two bald ponies in full view.

Applejack: Sweet Apple Acres presents…Live Bald Pranksters! Starrin' tha' Ponyville Ghosts!

Everypony wakes up and laughs at them while they try desperately to cover themselves.

Pinkie: Derpy!

Derpy: Yeah?

Pinkie: (crying) We should've bought the whoopee cushion!


End file.
